iHide
by XxXdarkangle-sonicXxX
Summary: The Diary of iCarly


Hi guys this is my first fanfic so be nice!! I didn't know where to put this so I just chose CoD cause CoD pwnz!! I recently read Anne Frank's diary and it really moved me. I also really love iCarly so I decided I should write this! Enjoy!!!

*I DO NOT OWN ICARLY OR ANNE FRANK*

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iCarly's world was perfect. She lived upstairs in an attic with her big brother Spencer and her best friends Sam and Freddy. They ran an independent newspaper full of ridiculous articles, which they would distribute to the neighborhood kids. The neighborhood kids loved the paper. Everyone loved the paper. It was hilarious and perfect. Everything was perfect.

Then it happened. The skies darkened and men in black and gray uniforms came in and took all the paper away. Sam said in an outrage, "First it's the paper, then what? Spaghetti and meatballs, that's what! Mama doesn't like these chizzheads, Mama likes meat!" Then in a flash she was taken away by the awful men in gray and black uniforms. iCarly let out a howl and Freddy tried to comfort her but it didn't work IT DIDN'T WORK. Not even the fierce Sam could fend off those terrible men. Then it got worse. They walked over to iCarly and Freddy Benson and pinned ugly yellow things on their shirts. The men told them that they were bad and that they should go hide in their attic. The teens were so scared they nearly died. Fortunately Spencer had come home from the store with a bag of hilarious objects just in time to give them a big hug.

"Shh Shh it's okay. Why are you guys so scared, huh?" he asked, "I bought some bananas and cream pies and easter eggs, and my buddy Socko gave me his old diary. It lights up! Isn't that awesome?"

"They took Sam away!!!" yelled iCarly.

"Bastards!" yelled Freddy Benson. But secretly he was happy because Sam was always so mean to him, calling him awful names like "Fredward" and "Jew".

"Come on Spencer we have to go to our attic and hide!"

The gang fled like lightning with tears in their eyes. Spencer opened the door and then he locked it.

"Okay guys, we should have enough bananas and cream pies and easter eggs to last us a few years", said Spencer. "iCarly, I think you should take Socko's diary. You can write about our life in hiding for the newspaper once this is all over."

"Yeah", scoffed Freddy, "IF this ever ends. And if it does my mom is gonna kill me. I haven't applied my ointment in over two days!"

"Don't worry Freddy, I'll apply the ointment for you..." said iCarly in a low voice. Spencer had gone into the kitchen to fix up some spaghetti tacos (Sam had hidden some spaghetti in the fridge before she got taken away YOU GO GIRL!!). iCarly was a budding young woman now with sensous curves and big wet lips. Freddy wanted her so bad, and she wanted him so bad. Freddy was so nervous he nearly died, but Spencer came back and ruined the mood.

"Hey I brought the spaghetti tacos!!!!"

"GO AWAY SPENCER SHAY" the two said in unison.

"Okay geez sorry, I'll call up Socko and we'll eat them together." Spencer ran to the phone and called Socko's house. He was surprised to hear a man with a thick accent on the other end."

"Hallo, Herr Spencer. Zis ist Colonel Hans Landa und I have taken your friend Socko avay forever. I am coming for you next so you better get ready. Auf wiedersehen!"

Spencer fell silent. He opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. Instead he just put a spaghetti taco in his mouth and just stood there. iCarly whispered something into Freddy's ear and they walked quickly together off to Spencer's bedroom. He wouldn't be needing it now that Hans Landa was coming for him.

The two young friends walked into the room, but would soon emerge as lovers. iCarly locked the door and threw off her badazzled vest and all ten of her necklaces. Freddy slowly unbuttoned the top button of his green polo. Then he took off his Doc Martins and tossed them erotically to the side of the bed. "Ooh, I like it when you throw things" crooned iCarly. So Freddy threw her on the bed and began licking her all over in the most sensuous way possible. She was in ecstacy as he rubbed her twiggy thighs and kissed her supple neck. "I'm going to make love to you," said Freddy.

Hans Landa had arrived at iCarly's neighborhood. The meanest man in town, Lewbert, had called Mr. Landa and told him all about Spencer and how ridiculous everything was and about the spaghetti tacos. Hans Landa arrived at the place where everyone lived and was met by the horrible Lewbert.

"Hyyyyeeeeaaahhh there Hans Laaaanda! You came here to the place just in time." said the horrible Lewbert.

Hans Landa tried to sniff Spencer out but the scent of the spaghetti tacos overpowed his hypersensitive nose.

"Zis is embarrassing for me, but I cannot seem to smell him. Vould you be so generous as to point to vhere he is for me?" he asked.

Lewbert pointed at the floorboards.

Hans Landa nodded and commanded his men to come in and shoot the floorboards. He did not hear Spencer scream. Everything just sounded like wood.

"Ahhhhhh whoooops! That was just wood." apologized Lewbert.

"Bah! I vill find him all by myself." said Hans Landa.

"I vill find you, Herr Spencer," he said out loud, "and ven I do you shall be reunited vis your old friend Socko, but zis time you vill both be dead." Spencer didn't hear him because he was all the way upstairs and Hans Landa was downstairs.

iCarly and Freddy were in the throws of passion when Spencer slammed open the door. The sight of his little sister being violated over and over and over again was so much that he almost died. He was just about to kill Freddy when he remembered why he opened the door in the first place. "You guys!!!" he whispered, "you gotta be quiet. I saw Hans Landa from the window, he's here! If he finds us we're burnt toast!" Everyone was dead silent. The tension was so great that everyone almost died.

Suddenly the loudest voice they had ever heard rang out, "RRRRANDOM DANCING!"

The sound was loud enough for Hans Landa to hear it and he rushed as fast as lightning up the stairs. The friends were compelled to dance and couldn't escape. Suddenly the colonel busted through the door with his big black boot (which was much bigger than Freddy's).

To Be Continued...


End file.
